Losing "Me"

I think.....

I think when it's all over, It just comes back in flashes, you know? It's like a kaleidoscope of memories. It just all comes back. But he never does. I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen. It's not really anything he said or anything he did, it was the feeling that came along with it. And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again. But I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright. But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him.
It was losing me...

I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are...

Quote for today: "Once I find true love, I am faithful to the core."

Better Today...

You see it all in my smile, you hear it all in my laugh and the way I walk you hear me talking,  "No, I'm no longer sad, I've got more reason to smile more now than I've ever had. I open my eyes and realized that nothing's quite that bad."

I know about down and out. I know about when it gets tough, losing the fight, you see the light, and you just want to give up. I know about being depressed, about leaving someone you love. I also know about standing up and saying enough is enough.

I've got a different approach to dealing with emotion. Keeping control of my boat while drifting on this ocean. Keeping my head to the sky, keeping tears outta my eyes. Unless happiness be the reason that I decide to cry.

And life is too short to dwell on all that's wrong. I stand up now and I promise not before long...

What will I give I tried. I could fly away right now. Hold me cause I finally found my smile...

I'll be feeling better today... Much better today, so much better... Feeling so much better...

Rest in Peace Beloved "Mey & Roxy"

Dedicated for MEY LASAMAHU

(Puisi saat Pemakaman, diiringi SOLO dari MIZZ MILD)

 

Awal bertemu, saat katong bersekolah di SMAN 5 Ambon
Banyak hal yang katong znk duga
kekurangan dan kelebihan masing-masing, membuat katong bersahabat sampai sejauh ini
6 tahun persahabatan ini, znk gampang
Susah sanang katong rasa sama-sama
MEY bukan cuma teman biasa, bukan
tapi lebih dari itu, MEY katong poenk sahabat, sodara

Terakhir baku dapa, Rabu 20 Januari 2010
MEY sayang katong, polo katong, deng minta maaf voor katong
MEY bilang, "jank marah, beta kamuka?"
Lalu mey kasi pasang voor katong, "jang iko beta, nanti kamong susah!"
Katong znk sangka itu saat terakhir katong baku dapa MEY
Katong znk pikir itu kata-kata terakhir yang MEY bilang voor katong

Kamareng diRSU, katong liat MEY pi kasi tinggal katong selamanya
Hayo ee, paleng saki ee
Su znk ada MIZZ JOVIAL lhai
Su znk ada carita-carita lucu dari MEY voor katong lhai
Su znk ada lhai

Katong sayang MEY, tapi TUHAN lebe sayang MEY
Apa yang TUHAN buat itu bae voor MEY deng voor katong samua
Semoga katong pung sahabat, saudara tenang bersama TUHAN
Kar'na TUHAN pasti jaga MEY deng Nyong Roxy dalam naungan sayapNYA


Ambon, 8 Februari 2010

by: MIZZ CHUEKZ




 

Quote for today: "I ALWAYS remember the little things."

We Found Love by Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris

We found love in a hopeless place...

 

I don't think this is a video about drug use... this is for anyone who has ever been crazy in love for the first time in their lives. I think the video is pretty much "hypothetical". It's gives a story that love can sometimes be just as dangerous as drugs.... When you are crazy in love with someone it feels almost like an obessession or addiction. You're high when you're with the person and without them you go crazy. You feel as if you NEED the person in your life like a person who"needs" drugs.
People keep saying this video is terrible and that it's a bad influence for children.

I love this video, it was fantastic. She didn't fucking create it to show children how to behave. It's a way of expressing herself. When did that become such a terrible thing? If your child is mindless enough to let a video influence the way they think, then you didn't do a very good job of raising them. I'm sitting here watching it without one thought of going out and doing drugs. Never have never will. 

Quote for today: "I am slow to love, but when I do, it's strong."

Jealousy...

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you don't have value.

Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.

There is only one alternative - self-value.
If you can't love yourself, you won't believe that you are loved.
You will always think it's a mistake or luck.

Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within.
Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences.
Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security.

Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.

Quote for today: "I will say exactly what I mean at the moment. But I may feel bad about it later."

Heartbreak...

That was rough....

Thing to do now is try and forget it....

I guess I don't quite mean that.
It's not a thing you can forget.
Maybe not even a thing you want to forget....

Life's like that sometimes...

Now and then for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat, slam him aging the ground so hard it seems like all his insides is busted.
But it's not all like that.
A lot of it's mighty fine, and you can't afford to waste the good part fretting about the bad.
That makes it all bad....

Sure, I know - saying it's one thing and feeling it's another.
But I'll tell you a trick that's sometimes a big help.
When you start lookin' around for something good to take the place of the bad, as a general rule you can find it.





Quote for today: "Every girl has that one guy she goes back to, heartbreak after heartbreak and nobody knows why, not even her. And she just can't let go."

I Don't Think Anyone Really Knows Who I am...

I'm actually the one who don't know who I am...

 
Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. here is the theory
 
" I am conscious of myself and become myself only while revealing myself for another, through another, and with the help of another <----- POINT
 
The most important acts constituting self-consciousness are determined by a relationship toward another consciousness (toward a thou) .
The very being of man (both external and internal) is the deepest communion. To be means to communicate … To be means to be for another <----- POINT

and through the other for oneself. A person has no internal sovereign territory, he is wholly and always on the boundary: looking inside himself, he looks into the eyes of another or with the eyes of another I can't manage without another <----- POINT

I cannot become myself without another. <------- POINT
 
Jessie J : Just be true to who You are!

Quote for today: "I over think LIKE CRAZY. I drive myself mad inside and keep it ABSOLUTELY cool outside."

Just a piece of SHIT!

You told me that you loved me,
why did you leave me to cry in the cold?

You swore this time was different,
why does that line seem so old?

You told me I was the only one,
then who could make you feel that way ?

You told me that you cared about me,
so why didn't you stay?

All the nights you laid with me alone in the dark in my bed,
now I finally realize you were just messing with my head.

Love is such a powerful word,
a word people often miss use something they take for granted,
something they beat and abuse.

My wounds run deep inside me,
there's blood all over the place.

I think I've really lost it this time,
I'm ashamed to show my face.





Quote for today: "If I didn't like you, I am more prone to have feelings of indifference than hate toward you."

Ambon, 1 Maret 2015

Cinta itu kamu
selama itu bukan kamu maka itu bukan cinta

dan selama itupun juga segala sesuatu yang ada hanyalah semu...

Aku patah saat ku sadar kau telah beranjak pergi dari tepiku
Membiarkanku termangu diam tertusuk kecewa
Kau sudahi cerita rindu dengan bahagia yang bukan untukku

Tahukah kamu kini hanya ada lara yang tertinggal
Satu demi satu membunuh setiaku
Bersama sepi menyulutkan benci
Bertahta dalam palung hatiku

Semua telah usai
Kau buatku merasakan damba semu
Apa yang kau yakini cinta tak berarti bagimu
Dan hatimu tak pernah kau sisakan, untuk diriku

Aku pergi karena mencintaimu…

Quote for today: "I don't allow my emotions to show often, so when the feelings do come out, it's a strong possibility I really love you."

Before you walk into my life...

You need to know something about me...


You need to know that I'm very insecure person, I have very low self esteem, I'm not perfect. I am everything but perfect. I find it hard to trust people now. I've made mistake in the past and I've learned to live with them. I've learn to accept people for who they really are, it's not hard. Sometimes I can't be bothered anymore. Sometimes I don't want to be alive, but the thing is, I have a million reasons to be alive and I just haven't found them yet.


I miss the people that I shouldn't even think about anymore. I've liked, I've loved, I've been hurt. I have hurt people. Once again, I'm not perfect. But hey, this is me. And before you walk into my life, you need to know these things. Because, if you walk into my life, you can't walk out of my life when things are getting hard. Just like all the other people did.

Quote for today: "When I tell you I love you, I don't say it out of habit. I say to remind you that you're the best thing that ever happened to me."